$3 for a friend?

$3 for a friend?

Welcome back, friend!

There's magic in the way life unfolds and tries us. This short article is about a pair of shoes: a pair of shoes that tried my heart and made me think of how common, embraced and loved 'stealing'/benefiting from others has become nowadays, even among the 'holy' ones.

These few last weeks I decided to inspect my shoes collection and simply get rid of those that I haven't used more than once in the last couple of years. (Ps, I do love my shoes and before moving to Alaska I had already given many pairs away, except those darlings that even if I did not wear, I so totally loved).

So I posted these shoes on a website and people pressed the 'like', but not the 'buy' button. I waited for a week or so, then re posted with a price reduction/or best offer. This time I also prayed for buyers.


So, there was this lady that said she wanted my new pair of shoes, but omitted to include when she was going to come and get them. I waited for like a day for her to just tell me she was coming to get them, then I decided she was not a serious buyer, so I made the shoes 'available' on the website again. Within minutes, she wrote that she was coming in few hours to get them.  I was making dinner when the door bell rang and there was a very young, cute lady, with a foreign accent, giving me $20 for the shoes. I did not expect not to be given the exact amount ($15), so  I hurriedly looked for change in my purse, then in my husband's, checked any jackets and pants pockets, but all I found was $2. I said sorry, that's all the change I have right now;  the lady said it was OK: she loved the shoes and did not mind it at all. And then I wished her to enjoy the shoes and off she went, and back I was to my baking.


Covered in flour and stuff, I started to process the fact that she paid more for something I promised her for less. She said she did not mind, but...if I had found 5$ change in my wallet, she would have taken it. It did take me few seconds to realize that I benefited from the situation, and she lost. None of us planned to lose or win, it's just happened. It was not fair, I know, but we complain all the time that life is not fair, aren't we? And then I asked myself: Am I that kind of person who just lets things happen or do I take full responsibility and choose to make things happen? Was I responsible for shorting this lady with 3$? The more I thought about it, the more I decided that yes, even with her blessing, I benefited from her.

I am a giver, so I did not feel good about it. I thought about how many people benefit from other people, just because it is so easy, so comfortable and doesn't apparently  hurt any of them from in the front place. I was thinking of how many people nowadays just get something that is not rightfully theirs: people that have their friends do things for them for free, parents that forget to pay the babysitter or always have less cash than what they agreed on. I even struggle with people that complain all the time - it feels to me like they always expect and think they need more than they have. This 'I need more' makes me feel like they're thinking 'I need more of what you have right now, give it to me!'

Well, the end of my story is that I contacted the lady and went and dropped the change I owned her.  She was so impressed by my gesture and I found out that she has two children and is a stay home mom. I know how it is to be on one military income as a family, so with two children that would obviously be more challenging. To say the least, I just felt so happy and relieved to learn that I should never take lightly even the small things (those that we always forget to care about). I promised myself one again that I will be at least fair even in small things. Later in the week, the lady invited me to her house for Filipino snacks and coffee. I gained a potential friend just by being fair. I wonder how many of us 'lose' potential friendships just because we can't just spare the time and the money of being fair...Since I came here to Alaska, the materialism of people continues to shock me. The truth is, when you are consumed by yourself (what I do not have, what I need to have right now), you are too absorbed to see anyone around you, and you forget everything and everyone, but yourself.

My encouragement for us, today, is that we will be different. Fair people. Happy people. Blessed people. My prayer is that we can spare $3 or a cup of coffee to just be fair. I wonder how many friends and blessed relationship you can get just by being fair. A friend is an invaluable asset, and it might never cost you more than 3$. But sometimes a friendship starts by giving, and not by receiving. Let us not forget that! Let us be fair even in the small things that everyone else is happily ignoring!