The way we behave here, makes us behave like that there. Everything is interconnected in this whole complex process that makes us individuals - and we can learn more about themselves just by meditating on our habits.
| Dating is like shopping. |
So I have come to the conclusion that dating is like shopping. Some people are natural shoppers, but some are not. Some people always find those shoes they had in mind within days, but some have been looking for them for years.
Why is this so?
Well, let's look a bit into shopping - my favorite topic always.
Let's get hypothetical and say that you need those shoes you've been dreaming about...
So you decide to go shopping...
Where and when and how do you shop?
1. Well, if you have the time, the nerves and the fat savings, you go from store to store and mall to mall. You start from here and reach to that far there. You stop wherever you want and buy whatever you want. You enjoy shopping so much, you're so into it, that you totally fall in love with so many things in such a short time...There are just so trendy, look so hot - you just need to get them right now, while they are still on the hangers. So you buy them...After few hours of shopping (at least) you get home exhausted, poor, but having more dresses, sweaters and shoes now. More is always good, isn't it?
Most of us find ourselves here.We're so enchanted by the colorful world of shopping that we forget what we went there for. We end up with beautiful, sparkling clothes that we do squeeze in the closet, but that we did not need... We've been deceived by the glamorous world of shopping believing that anything would do for now, that anything is better than nothing, that anyone is better than no one...Somehow, dating is like that too. If we have the time, the energy and the disposition, we fall in love with anyone that's around and available..And as the dress that you buy today will always be in your closet tomorrow, the relationship that you develop today will be a part of you tomorrow...
Should we then have a shopping list at least? A dating list with all the 'must have'?
2. Well, if you don't have the time, the nerves or the fat resources, you go straight to the source. You go exactly to your favorite shoes store and use an assistant to help you find what you need. If the shoes are not there, you simply wait and stick around. One day or another, your shoes should arrive.
| 'All good, none right..' |
Some of us are like that. We know what we need, wait for it, while keeping our focus clear and our wallet intact - we will spend as much as needed, but only on the right product and person.
This is a much more focused 'shopping' style and it can usually meet the need we have or get very close to it.
This 'dating' style pretty much lives by faith, choosing to stick to the 'must have' list while praying over it and deciding not to go for anything less than the best...Believe me or not, these 'best' are still around and some still single, and if you are focused and stick around for as long as needed, you might just marry them one day, as I did.
Besides having your closet uncluttered and your wallet happy, this 'shopping' style actually spares you some energy and emotions, making you a happier and a more balanced person that those 'date/shopping addicts'.
3. But there are some people that might just want an easier, faster and more convenient 'shopping' way. Maybe these people have been waiting around for a while and their favorite 'stores' simply stopped making those shoes they were looking for. Maybe these people are just too tired or too busy to actually do any shopping. Whatever the reason might be, the good news is: we've go the online shopping (the best thing ever invented)! This online shopping practically brings the world to you. From the comfort of your home, you can look for what you need - and it always saves you time, energy and money!!! Well, it looks like we've pretty much defined online dating too...
You look for a special product, but find so many that seem exactly like what you are looking for. Well, then you read the labels and learn what the product is made from (and where), and also learn the 'maintenance' requirements: how to wash and generally take care of the product. If you like the labels but are still not sure if it is exactly what you need, then you look for some reviews from real people. You read what people say about it and then you take a while to make up your mind. Do you order it or not? Most of us, coming this far, order the product and excitedly wait for it to be delivered. Well, after such a strenuous research, there's a high probability that you will be happy with the product. But the truth is revealed only after the product has been unpacked and you are holding it in your hands.
If you are not happy with it, guess what? You can return it. You will be reimbursed and that will be it. You will continue to shop for what you need.
Same is with online dating.
There are lots of 'online' malls and they each custom for different types of 'shoppers'. You go to this 'online' mall that specializes on dating. If you want an even more focused search, then you choose a 'mall' that reflects your values. A 'mall' that gives you a personal assistant that gets to know you: your personality, your likes and your shopping list. Paying attention to you, the individual, this 'mall' will introduce you to the shopping options that would fit you best. A website like E-Harmony is well known for the personalized dating experience they provide. According to who you are and what you want, it shows you your best 'matches' available. The process is in itself very systematic and the best thing to love about it is: you will only 'meet' people with the same beliefs and life priorities.
Needless to say, shopping and dating are indeed personal choices, with very personal outcomes as well. I have tried all the shopping and dating style mentioned above -at different stages in my life timeline. We all start in the pretty messy 'experience' shopping style and we grow up and embrace more focused and convenient 'shopping' styles.
From what I have seen, the online experience has beaten up all the other 'shopping' records. Like pursuing anything else in life, dating is pretty much the same: we need to look at the Provider, the resource, and we then need to find a means to an end -while keeping our identity and purpose. It sounds like something hard to accomplish: it is. Only God's divine fit will embrace yours in that perfect design that will have a greater impact and a bigger dream.
I hope this post has brought some clarity and vision to you. I pray you get inspired to keep pressing for your goal, as is will come...
There’s an opportune time to do things, a right time for everything on the earth:True, God made everything beautiful in itself and in its time—but he’s left us in the dark, so we can never know what God is up to, whether he’s coming or going. I’ve decided that there’s nothing better to do than go ahead and have a good time and get the most we can out of life. It’s God’s gift.(Ecceliastes 3)
P.S. These are some good 'follow up' reads on online dating:
http://convergemagazine.com/defence-online-dating-6592/
http://www.oprah.com/relationships/Tips-for-Successful-Online-Dating/1
Thank you for reading the post! Please put some time aside to think about it, discuss it with your friends and share your heart encouraging one another...
